just home alone

It seems I find myself being debbie most of all the time now when not working . Thinking of hrt and transitioning full time and would do it if I had a man in my life to give me that support. It is so hard being in male mood and finding it unnatural to my nature. Finding myself looking at what girls wear and shopping even with a closet out of control. Loving romance movies and womens magazines to read and so identify. worse part is when I see a good looking man that notices or flirts with me and thinking will he understand. The tgirl scene has been exciting but wont find Mr Right there. Now at midage life just dont know what to do. Maybe just go for it